Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I pour the whiskey from now on
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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