I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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