You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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