I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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