You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
