can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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