I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
