She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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