There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
