I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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