Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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