youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i think i just lost a toe
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
