things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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