btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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