i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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