walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
