I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
