I accidentally had phone sex last night
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize