Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
