her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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