It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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