even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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