I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
