i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
