Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize