I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I don't deserve a penis
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
