i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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