I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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