Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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