well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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