strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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