farters have to be the big spoon...
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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