Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
