STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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