oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
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Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
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There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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