Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner