and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??