I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.