I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time