she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
