I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
