if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize