Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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