he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
