So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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