No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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