you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize