Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I got inside last night via doggy door
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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