does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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