His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
