Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize