he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
