Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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