i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
