Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
