But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
