Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
