i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
