don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
