Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
