i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
