We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
there was a trapeze. enough said
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
