did you get engaged???
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I need to calm my uterus...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
