I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
