Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
