Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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