I am puke
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
