So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize