You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
